If I didn’t have children…

If I didn’t have children:

I wouldn’t have two cicada shells sitting on my desk.

No one would shove the thermometer into a nail hole in the wall in the middle of the hallway and leave it there like some kind of bizarre decoration.

I would not have to share my bed with other people’s Webkinz who want to have a “sleep over” with me.

No one would offer me a snack of belly button nibbles at bedtime.

I would not have to get up off the couch in the middle of my break to find a seed to plant RIGHT NOW because it CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER SECOND!!!

I wouldn’t have to find four stuffed animals, two blankies and a clean pair of sheets; brush two sets of teeth (other than mine) or fetch a drink of water for two kids, one lion, and a thirsty blankie before bed.

No one would wake me up at dawn by breathing in my face, licking me, or pulling the covers off me while yelling “Breakfast! Breakfast! We’re hungry!  Is it morning outside yet?”

I would never go to the grocery store with my hair straggling out of it’s clip, applesauce on one shoulder and fingerpaint streaks on my jeans.  I also wouldn’t need to buy two gallons of milk and four loaves of bread every three days.

No one would ever tell me that they loved me for my squishy belly and mean it.

All of my cosmetics would stay in their cases and in pristine condition.  My scissors would never wander around and get lost, and my house plants would keep most of their leaves.

I would not get the occasional surprise breakfast of mushy scrambled eggs, crooked apple slices and burnt cinnamon toast, complete with mis-spelled menu and wildflowers on the table.

I would never get tackled and have my head rubbed into the carpet.

No one would ever want to climb on my feet and play airplane or ask to skin the cat on me in the doctor’s office.

I wouldn’t have memorized “Big Red Barn,” “Good Night Moon,” or “The Cat in The Hat.”

I would never have seen Michael’s post-bath dance time, or held a freshly clean powdered baby wrapped up in a snowy white towel.

No one would put water in the lawn mower gas tank, chalk in the fish bowl, or key my sister’s red convertible by driving matchbox cars all around the side.

There would be no small people to show minnows, tadpoles, butterfly shells, or mulberries to.  I would have no one to bake cakes shaped like waterslides for, or to catch the bubbles I blow, or to run through my sprinkler.  Who would I take pictures of?  Or take to the movies with me?

Some times my children frustrate me to the point of tears and screaming…. but I need to remember- without them, I would have missed so much.  I should make lists like this more often.