Prickly vs. Squishy

31 08 2007

T minus two days. 

Signed the papers to list the house.  Having periodic spasms of worry.  What if the house sells before he has a job?  Where will we live?  In a hotel?  How much does a hotel cost with four kids?  What if the house doesn’t sell and he doesn’t get a job?  Will we be reduced to EATING THE CHICKENS!!!!   Aaagh!

Too much painting.  High on the fumes.  When I lay down, the house seems to circle around my head.  Taking the morning off to go to Greenfield Lake tomorrow.   Both the little boys would only fall asleep clutching me, one on each side like bookends.  I received the definite impression that I haven’t been spending enough time with them lately. 

Here’s something funny for you- Michael has become obsessed with certain private portions of his anatomy.  He knows what one part is for- after all, he uses it every day!  It’s the other bit that bothers him.  He keeps asking me, “What is this FOR, mommy?”  He and I have been having discussions about what we call “baby seed” and what his body will do when he grows up.  Michael has arrived at some conclusions:

1) He is going to grow up to be a mommy.  “So I have more Patricks,” he says patting his tummy, “Bigger, bigger like you!”  No argument will convince him otherwise.  He is firmly convinced he gets a choice about the matter.

2) In order to do this he needs a “wife.”  He wanted to know if he could have mine, and was very impatient when I didn’t understand.  “Off your hand!” he demanded, pointing to my wedding ring.  I suppose I should be grateful he’s gotten half the point!

3) You need more than one person to have a baby.  He was counting on his fingers this evening, “Donal, Brenna, Patrick and me… we have lots and lots of Patricks!”  Last night, when I was explaining that he needed to grow up to have a baby, he told me very seriously, “When I get bigger bigger like you , you and I have a baby, mommy.”

4) A belly button is not enough.  I was trying to explain to him that his body needed to change into a grown-up man before babies became an option.  I was pointing out Neal’s beard stubble, hairy chest, and furry tummy to him.  “You have to have furry and prickly, and be a big big man to have a baby,” I said. 
       He thought about this for a while.  Then he put his hands on my face and said rather sternly, “You not prickly!  You have a baby!”  
       I could tell he thought he was shooting holes in my logic.  So I put his hands on, um… a part of my body traditional to females, and said, “No, I’m not prickly, I’m squishy.” 
       He squished me thoughtfully for a minute, then turned away.  He looked very downcast and said,  “All I have is a belly button.”

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