Bumper Stickers

30 06 2007

     I’ve been thinking about bumper stickers.  I like them.  I am one of those drivers who will speed up behind you and seriously tail-gate for a mile or two so I can read what you’ve posted on the back end of your car.
     Some stickers I don’t like.  I don’t approve of anything that has a picture of someone being obscene, silh0uettes of women who are apparently wearing anti-grav intimate apparel (commonly found on big trucks), or mis-spelling words to be cute.
     I’m not really into stickers that make angry political statements of any sort.  I was recently stuck in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell behind a girl whose car shouted all kinds of insults at me.  It accused me of ruining the planet by voting republican, of exterminating wetland habitats to deprive the world of seafood, of warmongering by inaction, of abusing coffee growers, and of interfering in her right to abort, smoke, snort, cuss and get busy with the humanoid or group of humanoids of her choice.  All I wanted was a supreme burrito!
     On the other hand, I really love the Promise Keeper’s sticker that proclaims, “I love my wife!”  I want Neal to put one on his new truck, but he is constitutionally opposed to bumper stickers.  I asked him once if he would put a Christian sticker on, and he said, “No.  I’d be afraid I’d do something stupid driving and people would say, “Well, what kind of a Christian is he?””
     I’ll admit to feeling the same way sometimes.  My van doesn’t have two big fish followed by a school of four little ones for the same reason.  It wouldn’t be a very good witness if I merged without blinking, would it?  But still, I think I’d post one if I could find one I really liked. 
      The ones with just the verse number are bad.  How many unsaved people carry a bible in their car and are going to look up the reference and read the verse?  Well, on the other hand, my sister was intrigued by one of those to the extent that she called me on her cell phone in rush hour traffic and asked ME to look it up.  So maybe they have something going there.
     I don’t want to threaten people with a car accident, saying “In case of Rapture, this car will be un-manned!”  And since my pastor says God should be my pilot, I can’t use one that says, “God is my co-pilot.”  He also says America should bless God, instead of the other way around, so I had to take that one off.
     I’ve considered a simple, “I (heart) Jesus,” but somehow it doesn’t cover the heighth, the depth, the breadth of the love I have for him.  Maybe if I plastered the car with them…. but no.  That would be tacky.  Tacky Christianity is a scary thing.
     It seems like they all sound either threatening or overly enthusiastic. I’m not a Jesus thug (Repent or Else!) and I’m not a cheerleader (Rah! Rah! Religion Rocks!).  I want a bumper sticker that sounds like a big hug from God direct to the person behind me, but with a little more body to it than “God Loves You.”
     I want something that says, “God looked at you the day you were born, and he was overcome with love for you.  He looked ahead and saw the pain and trouble you might have and wept.  He wanted to gather you up in his arms and keep you safe forever, but he wouldn’t force you to accept him.   Instead, he planned ahead for the day when you would finally choose to take shelter in him so he could love you forever, lavish you with gifts, heal your heart, and wipe away every tear.  No matter what it seemed like, he NEVER left you, NEVER stopped loving you, and always wanted the best for you.  He loved you then, he loves you now, and his only desire is that you love him back.”
      Now if I could only say that in ten words or less… 

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